It could be any given Teenage Harlots show. Johnny Dismal, a brunette man in a black suit with a white tie, pushes and rolls along a line of audience members, some dancing, some standing with their arms folded. People wearing black arm bands with white crossbones shake and twist to the fueled up garage band as the singer gets drug along the floor by his ankles. One or two people take cheap shots at him, punching or kicking at him. He jumps right back up and starts screaming lyrics into people’s faces. In 15 minutes, the band played 15 songs and the set is through. They not only have more energy than just about any other band out there, they have it during every set.

The six-year-old group sounds like what would happen if surf guitar king Dick Dale smoked crack, bashed up his guitar a few times and crossed over to the punk side. Sometimes their shows are more punk, other times it’s more surf. Sometimes they perform on a huge stage; other times, it’s in a venue’s lobby while someone else sets up on the real stage. No matter what, “the normal Harlot’s show is always a good time. It’s high energy and the singer makes sure that there is a good show going on,” says Josh Langben, who has seen the band play four times in the last year.

At a party in the Oakland warehouse where scifi-rockabilly band The Phenomenauts’ live and rehearse, the Harlots joke so much it’s hard to tell when they’re not lying. It’s especially confusing when seemingly true stories consist of jumping into a moving vehicle to avoid an angry crowd of rednecks on speed.

Dismal bears a fresh boot mark on his cheek from a show just an hour ago. “I get punched and kicked a lot. People think it’s fun to take shots at me,” he says in between sips of alcoholic cider, “they think I’m crazy and can take it.”

Still, the consensus seems to be that tonight’s show went pretty well. They finished a full set in 15 minutes, made a huge mess with a giant bag of popcorn and the crowd loved it.

The average Teenage Harlets song only lasts about one minute and 15 seconds, and is probably a bit shorter live. It’s fast enough that the band can record a 7 inch LP with 16 songs, the same number of tracks as most full length records. “You think you’re listening to a full 12 inches,” jokes Chris Buzzell, the group’s guitarist.

The band’s bassist recently quit on good terms. Mike Slavinsky of the Coppertones is filling in while they search for a new player.

“It’s not how long we play our songs,” begins Slavinsky.

“It’s how long you can stand them,” jokes Atom Bomb, the group’s drummer, who claims he plays as fast as possible to get back to watching the show and consuming the free food and beer. He claims free admission and delicious treats as his true motivators to be in a band.

The Harlets hate headlining because playing last stops them from hanging out after the set. They prefer performing between bands in the confined lobby of the Phoenix Theatre in Petaluma. “It’s the best place to play. I don’t understand why people don’t like playing places like that. I want the audience playing in our band instead of these jerks,” Bomb says, pointing his beer at the three other members.

Previously published in Xpress Magazine. Creative Commons Licensed image courtesy of Flickr user lantzilla.

Wednesday, November 5th, 2008 @ 3:13 pm music
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